I can't understand what is the absolute right thing to do, really. Maybe there really isn't anything like that, either. I am pretty sure that 99% of the 20-30 age group won't know of this too. Ok, what I am talking about is arranged marriages vs love marriages. I really wanna know the opinions of all those people who go through this post. It helps to have discussions when you are confused about things which form a very important phase in life.
My take on why love marriages work:
1. You already know the person with whom you are going to be, for the rest of your life. This gives a lot of comfort level.
2. You know what will work and what wont work between you two, so, you don't force things on each other.
My take on why love marriages don't work:
1. If you come across something that you do not like in your partner, even if it a small thing, it disturbs you and makes you think whether you really chose the right person (possibility of a negative mindset) esp, if you have married going against your family.
2. You already know so much about each other, you might just get bored. This might sound like a stupid reason. But it does happen sometimes that you know so much of each other that you would want some space. There is hardly any element of surprise left. And, life is not too much of a fun without some surprises here and there.
My take on why arranged marriages work:
1. You are not alarmed when you come across some habit in your partner that you don't really like. You would have not have known every little thing about him/her before marriage and so, instead of brooding over how it didn't get noticed by you before, you think of ways to get over that problem you have with your partner. Saves up a lot of unnecessary resentment and worry.
2. Astrologically speaking, your horoscopes should have matched before marriage. So, there is a positive feeling everytime you come across a difficulty. Just helps in the mental makeup, in case you believe in astrology, that is..
My take on why arranged marriages don't work:
1. You hardly know that person well before marriage. He/she might just be totally of a different wavelength.
2. You might need to do a lot of things which you don't like/ you don't feel comfortable doing, in order to make the other person happy or to just understand that person better, and, if continued for a long time, becomes very annoying.
Like I mentioned in the title, there are a billion possibilities in each of these 2 type of marriages. Maybe successful marriages have lot more to do with God's will than anything else. But as humans, we ought to justify ourselves atleast as to why one chooses one type over the other. Hence, the post. Please come up with comments.
5 comments:
You sure you are in the right profession? I mean you could do some marriage counselling ;)
Anyways, seriously, I THINK, one should never make a choice of "type of marriage", just go by the person.. Life is full of surprises... When you live with someone absolute commitment ,honesty and understanding is what takes you a long way. :)
And the thumb rule is :
No two people are same !
@gagan
thats well said! :) you should be the chief counsellor ;)i will assist you :P
Love marriage ; you have to arrange your marriage, as you are already in love
Arrange marriage : you should work to get a lot of love in the marriage,as the marriage was anyway easily arrangeed :-)
Lol, did that make any sense? am not sure, but it did when i wrote it, it did'nt when i read the above lines again. but i dint change it anyway :-)
Whatever, the 'type of marriage' ; It neeeds a lot of love and a litlle bit of 'arrangements' :-)
hmmm, let us know what type finally gets you :-)
Couldn't resist this one.. Well you know what they say, "Marriages are made in heaven" and all that. Leave it to ur destiny to find you.
If Either of these types help the Girl choose the best partner, then it works well for both...
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